![]() Tombstone: Home of campy fun and the worst margarita I’ve ever had in my whole life. Next stop was Tombstone, Arizona, where we made a shitload of movie references that no one else seemed to get. I sort of thought we might get murdered (spoiler alert: we didn’t). On the way to see THE THING we walked by 100 gourds carved to look like monsters and also a shocking amount of home-made torture-related displays. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK.” But I will say we got to walk through two separate trailer parks to see it. Victor attempted to not go see THE THING because he’s the kind of guy who never opened up his digital alarm to see if there were squirrels in it (there weren’t) so Hailey and I screamed in protest until he pulled in to the gas station where you buy tickets to see The Thing. And one we asked ourselves for the next several hours as we saw a sign for it every mile. Then we saw a billion billboards for “THE THING”. (Hailey: “This is a weird vacation.” Me: “And we are weird people.”) That’s when I took control of the agenda and gave Victor directions to see the gravestone of Rex Allen’s famous horse. Much more exotic than the New Mexico or Texas variants. Dust storms: the most exciting thing I’ve seen in 3 hours is mobile dirt. Photo 2: ladies and gentlemen, we’ve run out of rum. Let’s start:įirst off we flew to El Paso, which slightly seems like breaking the rules of a “road trip”, but driving from the middle of Texas to the end of Texas takes 480 years. You may have seen some of this on instagram but I saved the best stuff for this post. So I set up a road trip agenda to take us to the world’s largest pistachio nut and then Victor was like, “ Or we could actually take Hailey to see something worthwhile, like The Grand Canyon or a National Park” and I was like, “Well, I guess we can do both if big nuts aren’t good enough for you” so we did. Because it gave me the perfect excuse to do a family road trip weirdo-style. But, um…define ‘fucked-up‘?” and I was like, “Don’t worry about it, Lizards. But good?” And then I was all, “AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ONE OF MY READERS A CHANCE TO SEE FUCKED UP SHIT TOO?” and they were like, “Okay. But that seems like something you wouldn’t need sunscreen for since ghost come out at night” and I had to explain that ghosts don’t sleep in the day because they aren’t vampires and it got too complicated so instead I was like, “How about I go on a road trip to fucked up places I never knew existed?” and they were like, “That sounds weird. So let’s begin.īlue Lizard (who I love and have used for years) asked if they could sponsor a post and my first response was the same one I always have for that question, which was, “I don’t really do that” but then they said “You can write whatever you want” and I was like “Can I write about ghost hunting?” and they were like, “Sure. First off: This is a sponsored post and I’m telling you now because it seems shitty to read a whole post and then at the end get a “HEY, THIS IS AN AD” but you should read this one because at the end one of you will win a shitload of money because the sponsor is Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen and they want you to get out and have a bad-ass road trip that doesn’t end in cancer.
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